Compramise, is it a better way of life?

Now living in the west, i get to see the western life closely. Many unknown facets of the society were seen. Many times I wished I should have come here young, any way those are dreams. Back to reality.

Married life in the western world , I found full of individualism. From the moment the marriage takes place both are under pressure that it should last longer. I never understood that even after living together for 10-12 years committing to marriage is seen as pressure on themselves. Why beyond my thinking .

Where as in the Asian community marriage happens once in life and no matter what it takes, it never results in the divorce. There is hardly anyone who had an opportunity to tryout any thing before marriage, forget about living together for even one day.

Here no one is making an attempt of deciding which is better way of living life, and I am sure this debate will result in no agreement. It will be a big mistake even to initiate the debate.

In both ways of life i.e. Western or Asian the marriage is based on the foundation of compromise and understanding . I see it is like elastic band if you leave it other gets hurts or if you stretch it too much it will break and both will be hurt. So the compromise between two will ensure that the existence of the rubber band is not felt at all.

But to live together on the foundation of compromise needs a better understanding of each other, other wise the all efforts will result into more pain ,like in straighting of a dog tail. Also be careful that you may create a person like a child who develops a habit of getting everything by crying loud.

Religon is it required?

"Religion is it required ?" a question by Clive , my English friend.
"not really if you have other means of discipline in the life" me
"why to you need discipline" Clive
"discipline , this word is used in the wider context here and it is required to have structure in the society. Bring in the respect to elders. Hierarchy in the family and to understand the importnace of relations"
"But there are many without any religion, so do you mean they do not have discipline" Clive
"No , I think it is other way round the one do not discipline is not following any religion"
"This going nowhere" Clive
" Example , you do not follow any Faith but you get marred in the Church , follow all rituals after death, so if you look at it carefully they are part of the discipline of the some religion.
some one has helped you in understanding difference between good and bad thery by enabled to make choices. Importance of helping other was also told to you inderetly thereby doing charity and so on"

"so faith is discipline" Clive
"Yes, and without discipline we will be no less than heard of cattle and would not have any values built in to relationships."
"I will not say I agree 100% but I understood what you mean " Clive


After this discussion , I could not find answer to the question that what would I be without any religion. Still scratching the brain ...............

For many of friend like Clive here is one of many links to feed your gray cells.

http://www.open2.net/historyandthearts/philosophy_ethics/philosophy_p.html

like and dislike

I am no more than a common person ,the difference is my analytical mind. I tend to question actions of the people around me but not all question I chase for answer. Of course I do re-look at my reactions as well.

I had a privilege of working with eccentric and "Taymures" in my working life. While working with a company owner as a manager, I did had experience of being treated as "Sub-ordinate". I put it down to the level of literacy and maturity. Positive side of all these is great learning and improving patience to the next level.

Friends had always contributed to making me more compensating and improving team building abilities there by making me very effective manager.

So far the observation is that the groups are likely to form among those who are happy to accept one them as leader . This is not a joke, just observe when you are among friends . You will notice that the rest have accepted one from the group as a leader. This leadership is a temporary phenomenon , it does not have any long term meaning. This is a natural reaction , ask your self a question why ? you have all answers.

While searching answers to the all these weird question came across Dasbodh, this is one best book ever I have come across where everything is told in very simple language. Honestly ,I have not studied it but either heard enough form experts or read articles based on it. Could grasp some of it and making efforts to absorb more.

Follow the link to get a glimpse, if you are interested

http://www.ramdas.org/dasbodh.htm#top

Waiting for an invitation

I was watching a repeat of FRIENDS , in this episode , Monica and Chandler meet a couple on a holiday. On rerun ,they try make contact with the intention of continuing the friendship, in return Monika and Chandler get to hear about her loudness and his repeat jokes.

We all make friends as we go along , some remain for many miles some drop off at the next stop. At the start we make calls to each other and try to find common subject of interest to continue the relation ship. Some of these efforts goes long way or it stops after few calls or visits. At this point confusion starts why this has happened and may be some soul searching do take place but the result is same .....long silence.

And then .If conversation begin with
" didn't hear from you for long time"
"I was very busy" ,
if one get to hear this then the relationship is coming to the rest and may blossom like a weed in the garden.

On the other hand some friend remains friends even after arguments and exchange sarcastic remarks and leave with the promise to call again. Why?

Could not find the answer to this but it happens and sure that it will continue to happen.

So far many of us have invested in lot of calls , Hi and Hellos , why ? do not know......

Now ! many of us wait for an invitation ..... so give a devil it's share but it's worth remembering a say about dog's tail.

Are we creating new breed of slavery?

While watching queen paying tribute to the unknown slaves on BBC ,I was compelled to look back in to the history particularly Indian history where there are references of "Freedom from Slavery". During the school days , I felt proud of all those who fell in the freedom struggle and gave us gift of free will.

IT has given rise to economic boom which is supporting our agriculture based economy. Very impressed with progress and prosperity but I hardly find a joyous face at the end of the day. Long working hours , pressure of career progression and rising price index is taking toll on health and social life. This working style had blended the mind and thought process to the extent that I get to hear even jokes around "work" in social gatherings.

Families struggle to enjoy their holidays with the ghost of the workaholic man in the family and on the contrary the Saheb enjoys every evening with his family the return to work with fresh mind.

I felt that including myself along with the other have become slave contributing to the growing IT boom.

Big question , I am sure this generation will face at the retirement age by not having to work and their children are ready to serve the modern slavery.

Do you think that slavery did end in the past or we are not yet free think about it .

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Power of been away from Home

Since I moved to UK, I always felt that I am missing my Home and people. I thought it is not only me being odd but I am showing the signs of common. This made me work toward to create a little world where a reflection of what I am missing can be seen.

Out of same sense of belonging I with a friend of mine have donated small collection of books to local library , off course thanks to all other who have contributed this little venture.

Riding on the same wave I met many a likes and manage to arrange a get together in Milton Keynes. Huge response which made us look like novice in predicting and planning for this function.

One great learning out of this function was that in spite of lack of chain of command which is usually seen in Desi Mandal where there is always a one would like to have big shinny badge for the day etc etc. The team was self motivated and worked on the "same plane" and with same wavelength. This is bit odd for me but might be a sign of maturity and openness. I think we have started realising the downsize of power centers.

Now we are thinking of having responsibilities to make more success full social events and drive this further. Do not know the destiny but sure that this will lead to huge wave which will freshen up the minds with the splash.

New Dawn

New Sun

I am hoping that Sun will remain mild even in the mid afternoon.